WEEKEND MOTHER

Tatija lives with her grandparents, my parents, some 2 hundred kilometres away from KL. We drive up to my parents’ every Friday after work. Sometimes, when BEM has work to do or if he needs to see his parents instead, I’ll drive solo.

So, I am a weekend mother. And my heart breaks into million pieces every Sunday evening before I start my long journey back to the city.

It’s a tough decision on our part. The other options are either to take a live-in maid or send her to a daycare centre. BEM and I have this issue with the former. We’ve experienced enough problems with various maids. It’s going to be like having a second baby. Also, I don’t trust maids to take care of my daughter. The latter is our preferred solution. However, the problem lies with finding the right daycare centre. I want to place Tatija in a professionally managed centre. I want to have the comfort of knowing that she is in the hands of those who are trained to look after babies and toddlers. But these places are hard to come by. I’ve visited a few and been disappointed with all. The good ones are either full or they only take toddlers of 18 months and above. So, I'm stuck.

In the end, I am left with no choice but to send my little one to her grandparents. They are more than happy to have her around. Being the first grandchild and long awaited one, my parents dote on her.

I find myself frequently wishing I can quit my job for a few years and become a stay-at-home-mom. But, I can’t afford to do so. There are responsibilities and obligations. Well, such is life. We can’t have everything, can we? At least I know Tatija is well taken care of and it is only a temporary measure until we find a suitable place for her. I pray we’ll find the place. Soon.

Mama misses you, Tatija!