THE MEASURE OF SOCIAL GRACIOUSNESS?

I was watching an outdated "Six Degrees of Seperation" hosted by the ever beautiful Asha Gill on Discovery Channel earlier. In that episode, the host was in Singapore and at one part, she was interviewing Jack, the President (I think) of the Public Toilet Association. Regardlesss of what some of us might think of this society (though I honestly wish we have our equivalent), I just want to quote Jack quoting Singapore's Prime Minister:

" We should measure our social graciousness by the level of cleanliness of our public toilet."

Nicely put, I must say.

And I start to reflect on the sorry state of our public lavatories. Goodness me! We still have a long way to go...

KISAH HUJUNG MINGGU

Yang terpekik terlolong sampai keluar urat-urat di leher, rata-ratanya Melayu. Pengusaha gerai-gerai pasar malam yang terpaksa menanggung kerugian pun rata-ratanya Melayu juga. Siapa yang rugi? Fikir-fikirkan lah…

Demonstrasi diwar-warkan sebagai tunjuk perasaan anti ISA. Tiba-tiba keluar sepanduk “Suruhanjaya Pembunuh Rakyat Malaysia!” yang dipegang oleh mereka-mereka yang berkopiah. Laa… pulak dah! Ingatkan tadi demonstrasi anti-ISA. Ini apa pulak terselit isu kematian Beng Hock?

Apa sebenarnya hala tuju demonstrasi hujung minggu baru-baru ini? Saya agak pening dan keliru.

Ruginya bila bertindak membuta tuli tanpa ilmu di dada. Agaknya, berapa ramai di antara mereka yang berdemonstrasi telah membaca akta ISA dan faham apa yang mereka perjuangkan? Atau, mereka cuma bertindak mengikut telunjuk tuan besar dan justeru itu, hanya layak dipanggil sebagai boneka-boneka sahaja? Kesian…

Berjuanglah secara bijak. Kamu sudah diberi mandat oleh rakyat untuk bersuara di Dewan. Jadi, gunakanlah mandat itu sebaik mungkin. Saluran yang betul sudah tersedia. Jadi, mengapa masih perlu berarak macam kambing pulang petang di tengah-tengah bandaraya?

Lagak seperti ini membuatkan saya menjadi bosan.Saya mahu pembangkang yang lebih “pro-active and assertive”. Jangan kerana anda pembangkang, segalanya hendak dibangkang! Dan berjuanglah untuk rakyat. Bukan untuk membalas dendam kesumat yang membara di dada. Tunjukkan sedikit kematangan dalam berpolitik.

Percayalah, bukan semua rakyat suka berdemonstrasi membuta tuli tanpa arah tuju pada hujung minggu.

Jika inilah lagaknya, tidak mustahil suatu hari nanti, anak cucu saya akan menjadi hamba di negara sendiri. Sedih sungguh bila difikirkan… Buat apa menang sorak tapi akhirnya kampung tergadai? Bilalah Melayu akan sedar?

I'M MISSING YOU BOTH...

Mama misses daddy. Mama misses Tatija.

Daddy is in the Queen's Kingdom, managing a project. Tatija is in Kuantan with Wan and Tok Abah because mama refuses to hire a maid to take care of Tatija (mama is one PARANOID lady!) and those good day care centres only take toddlers of 18 months and above. So, until mama and daddy can find a possible solution, you will continue to be spoilt rotten by Wan, Tok Abah and all your uncles and aunties!

And where is mama? Mama is all alone, feeling miserable in KL. Mama's not there in Kuantan with you this weekend because my boss loves me so much and has ordered me to work the whole weekend. BUT, my weekend will start early next week. Yaay!

Mama can't wait to see you, princess. And we can skype (don't we love all these technologies?) with daddy who is missing you dearly too. The lovely summer weather does nothing to uplift daddy's spirit, it seems. Hhmmm... time for daddy to come home, don't you think so?

This was taken last week. Courtesy of Tatija's Pak Ngah.

And this was taken about a month ago. Those are definitely daddy's eyebrows :)

Mama's heart and soul. At GIMC to see good Dr. Adrian.

ZEBRA CROSSINGS

If any of you works in one of the buildings along Jalan Raja Chulan near Pavillion and you have to park your car next to Novotel (because most of the buildings do not have sufficient parking bays for tenants) then you are surely familiar with the difficulty when trying to cross the roads in that area especially in the morning. It is like committing suicide! I am now contemplating to tell my HR manager that the staffs ought to be given “hardship allowance” for having to brave the traffic to get to work everyday. I almost got hit by a car this morning and I am fuming mad! I need to let this anger out of my system before I start work.

In all honesty, if the City Hall and traffic police do not do anything, a major accident involving pedestrian is just waiting to happen. You see, there are two zebra crossings between Wisma Cosway, Novotel and the road behind Novotel. The thing is, only the zebra crossing behind Novotel is equipped with a set of traffic lights. The one between Wisma Cosway and Novotel only has the blinking orange light to remind drivers to slow down as they are approaching the zebra crossing. But we all know how Malaysian drivers are. We can be proud of the fact that we have some of the worst and most notorious drivers in the world! And please, I don’t need some empirical studies to support this contention. The daily behaviours that I see on the road are enough to lead me to that conclusion.

Anyway, if Malaysian drivers can ignore the red light and speed off, what makes the authorities think they will take heed and stop when they see the blinking orange light? In fact, they speed faster when they see pedestrians waiting to cross at the zebra crossing. Some of them, usually motorcyclists, even scream at the pedestrians if they still insist on crossing. I stood by the roadside one day, just curious to see how many cars would actually stop and give way to pedestrians. Out of fifty cars (a rough estimate), one would stop at the zebra crossing. ONE!!! So much for world class mentality! On one occasion, a group of tourists was almost run over by a car. The car driver pretended nothing like happened and sped off. I was like what the @#$!??? I was so embarrassed by this incident.

So, if you are about to take up a job in this deadly area, good luck! And it is useful if you are agile and run really fast. Even better if you are bionic.

Kepada pihak DBKL dan polis trafik - Tolonglah buat sesuatu!

ZEE AVI - ALBUM REVIEW

I am listening to Zee Avi this very moment. Bought her CD at Victoria, Sungei Wang Plaza during lunch hour. By the way, I love Victoria music store. It’s located on the ground floor of Sungei Wang. I think it’s one of the best music stores in KL if not the best! True, the layout is a far cry from that of Tower Record or any other upmarket music stores but the staffs are friendly and their stocks are so varied you can find almost any record! At least I can… It’s also a plus point when the salespersons are able to give their reviews on a particular record I’m interested in. Sometimes, it feels like I’m walking into one of those back lane record stores in London where I would be greeted by young men with dreadlocks and smell like they haven’t seen the shower or bath tub for weeks. But the blaring feng-tau music from surrounding stores ensures I am homebound again. Browsing through stacks of CDs in Victoria usually results in a lunch-less lunch hour and a poorer me.

I digress.

Back to Zee Avi. I am officially her fan. She is truly a talented young lady and I believe this is only the beginning. She exhibits extraordinary maturity and depth through her pieces. Her music is simple, uncomplicated. The strumming and plucking of guitar sound flawless. Her phrases are short and catchy. One way to describe her work is honest and without pretense. I have always had this inclination towards singers who sing without much layering or fancy arrangements. The likes of Tunde Baiyewu, Norah Jones, Keiko Lee and another superb local talent who deserves a separate review in this blog, Yuna.

Zee Avi’s voice is strong yet never overpowering. A testament that a good singer does not need to hit high note on each line. A Malay word that comes to my mind every time I hear her voice is “lemak”. I’m still thinking of a comparable English adjective… Perhaps “rich”? You see, literally, “lemak” means “fat” (noun). But I can’t say her voice is “fat”. It does not make sense. So, I leave it as “rich” until I can think of a better word. There I go again. I can never stay on track. If Zee Avi were to commission me to write promo articles for her album, I would’ve been axed the moment she reads this all-over-the-place piece.

Anyway, expect to be blown away by her rich, sultry voice. The thing is, when you sing with only one or two accompanying instruments, your margin for mistakes is almost zero. Any mistake is magnified and you cannot hide behind some fancy arrangement or digitalized layering.

This self titled debut album will definitely catapult Zee Avi’s career to the next level. It is not merely an attempt to prove that this girl can sing. She’s done that long before her album is out. I view this album as an introduction to Zee Avi and what she, as a singer songwriter, embodies and represents. I look forward to many, many more beautiful albums from this talented young lady.

MOTHERHOOD

I must admit. I never really understood the meaning of sacrifice until Tatija came along. I never knew I could be selfless until I first held her in my arms.

Some time ago, if you ask me to make that long lonely drive every Friday after work and back on Sunday, I would have told you “Talk to the hand coz the ears ain’t listenin’”. And if you ask me to forego my minimum 8 hours sleep on weekends? I would’ve erased you eternally from my good book.

Reality is, come Friday morning, I am all giddy with excitement. By lunchtime, it is only my physical being that’s left in this godforsaken place. My mind would have had a head start and is already there with Tatija. And to be woken up at ungodly hours…only to be greeted with the sweetest of voice and smile from her? I say who needs 8 hours sleep on weekends, anyway.

There is a constantly overwhelming desire to protect this helpless little being. I don’t want any harm to even come near her. I can feel her pain; magnified a thousand times. Her slightest whimper breaks my heart to pieces. I fuss over her littlest needs, like my life depends on them and I put mine last.

She makes me ponder upon my own mortality. I’m not afraid of dying but I’m afraid to leave her. I’m afraid no one will love her as much as her mama loves her. I’m afraid I’m going to miss her…even in my death. To not ever see her again? It’s too excruciatingly painful to bear.

It’s bittersweet… this motherhood thingy.

SHORT NOTE

Mari kita lihat!! Perpecahan orang Melayu at its best di Manik Urai. I bet the spectators are ready to give thunderous claps, regardless who the winner is tonight.

I should stop here.

SESAT DALAM TERJEMAHAN?

Pelik sungguh! Idea sentiasa mencurah-curah tatkala kaki menjejak masuk ke bilik kecil di pejabat. Susah betul! Mulalah penumpuan kerja terbantut sana-sini. Bagaimanapun, ada persoalan yang ingin dikongsi dan perlu dimuntahkan segera dari benak agar saya dapat bekerja dengan aman: Pencemaran bahasa Melayu akibat pengangkatan keterlaluan bahasa Inggeris.

Jika tidak silap, tabiat ini menjadi marak apabila “seseorang” itu mula menggunakan perkataan-perkataan Inggeris versi Melayu dalam ucapan-ucapan beliau. Rata-rata yang mendengar pada masa itu pasti terkagum dengan kecanggihan pemilihan perkataan yang hebat tahap dewa. Tapi, betul-betul hebatkah? Atau ia sebenarnya menambah kepada pencemaran bahasa Melayu? Miskin sangatkah bahasa Melayu sehingga segala perkataan perlu dipinjam daripada bahasa Inggeris dan kemudian di-Melayukan?

Saya tidak menafikan keperluan untuk mengangkat sesetengah perkataan bahasa asing terutama bahasa Inggeris ke dalam bahasa Melayu atas dasar keperluan bagi menaiktaraf bahasa Melayu sebagai bahasa ilmu. Tidak ada salahnya, asalkan ia dilakukan mengikut lunas-lunas yang betul bagi memastikan keseragaman serta ketepatan penggunaannya. Tapi, pengangkatan ini kadangkala menjadi sedikit keterlaluan dan saya melihat wujudnya satu tabiat yang agak tidak menyenangkan; Kita mengambil jalan singkat ketika membuat terjemahan. Maka timbullah perkataan-perkataan seperti “submisi”, “translasi”, “injunksi” dan bermacam-macam “si” lagi (Ya! Contoh ini semua adalah dari kertas hujahan mahkamah). Apa yang ingin saya katakan di sini ialah selidik dahulu samada wujud perkataan Melayu yang mampu membawa makna yang sama sebelum mencedok perkataan Inggeris berkenaan. Contohnya “translasi”; kenapa tidak digunakan “terjemahan”? Dan “injunksi”; kenapa tidak digunakan “penghentian” atau “penghalangan”? Kebanyakan kita sanggup berhabisan untuk membeli “Oxford Concise English Dictionary” bagi memastikan keberkesanan bahasa Inggeris kita. Tapi berapa ramai yang sanggup berhabisan membeli kamus bahasa Melayu? Saya bercakap berdasarkan pengalaman sendiri dalam bidang kerja yang saya ceburi. Mungkin pengalaman anda berbeza.

Lazimnya, kerja penterjemahan dilakukan seperti “melepaskan batuk di tangga”. Rakan-rakan saya bangga memperkatakan tentang penguasaan bahasa Melayu mereka yang lemah. Ada kalanya, ia bagai satu pertandingan; bahasa Melayu siapa yang lebih teruk? Sedih tapi benar. Dan bertambah sedih lagi, saya juga sama berbangga kerana tidak arif (atau buat-buat tidak arif?) dalam bahasa Melayu. Bahasa Melayu memang saya anggap sebagai bahasa kelas kedua. Memang saya tidak sedar diri.

Lama kelamaan, timbul kegusaran di dalam diri ini. Adakah betul tindakan saya selama ini meminggirkan serta mengambil sikap acuh tak acuh apabila perlu menulis dalam bahasa Melayu? Apa salahnya berhempas-pulas memastikan bahasa Melayu saya juga menuju kesempurnaan (bukan sempurna, ya?)? Bukannya luak pun bahasa Inggeris saya kerana lebih sembilan puluh peratus masa saya di pejabat menggunakan bahasa Inggeris.

Perlu ditegaskan bahawa tulisan ini bukan bertujuan menidakkan kepentingan bahasa Inggeris sebagai bahasa utama global. Ia juga bukanlah satu petunjuk samada saya bersetuju atau tidak dengan dasar kerajaan berhubung isu PPSMI atau menjual idea agar kita memilih satu di antara dua. Yang ingin saya sampaikan melalui contoh di atas ialah kita perlu hebat dalam kedua-duanya; bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris. Bahasa Melayu kerana ia bahasa kebangsaan dan bahasa Inggeris kerana ia bahasa perantaraan utama dunia. Jika ada bahasa ketiga, keempat dan kelima…lagi bagus! Kita juga perlu hormat bahasa yang kita gunakan, tidak kira apa bahasa sekalipun.

SIRI TEPI TINGKAP I

Pentas politik di Malaysia memang menarik. Plotnya boleh dibuat opera sabun. Terlalu banyak kejutan sehingga tidak mengejutkan lagi. Walaubagaimanapun, hati ini tidak pernah terpanggil untuk menulis perkara berkaitan. Rasanya sudah terlalu ramai penganalisis politik tidah bertauliah membiak di sekitar “world-wide-web”. Ada ketika, mata terkabur sedikit dalam membezakan mana yang betul, mana yang palsu. Manakan tidak? Masing-masing tidak mahu kalah; cara penulisan sungguh meyakinkan. Segala fakta sepertinya datang terus dari punca utama. Hebat sungguh!

Ada masanya, jari-jemari terasa gatal untuk menaip komen atau bidasan, tetapi minda sentiasa menarik diri ini kembali ke alam nyata. Buah fikiran pun bercelaru; manakan mampu menyusun ayat-ayat secara bijak. Ayat-ayat cinta pun tak lulus. Inikan pula ayat-ayat politikus. Saya tidak pandai bermain kata. Saya cuma tahu apa yang ada di benak fikiran ini. Kesudahannya, banyak artikel-artikel yang terbiar sebagai “draft”. Atau mungkin, saya ini sebenarnya pengecut. Takut dikecam. Boleh jadi juga…

FRIDAY AFTERNOON

It's from a limited edition collection. Only 500 were made. Price tag in Malaysia?? RM20,600! Hehehe... where can I find that much money to splurge? It's ok. I won't die if don't own it (trying to console myself here). I heart you Bottega Veneta!! *sobbing*

Imaginary friend (IM): Go ahead and cry Tun Teja. It's allright.
TT: People might think I'm shallow! Who cries for a bag?
IM: Many I'm sure, though most of them will cry in their closet.
TT: Hhmm... I don't think I want to cry in my closet. It's kinda small and I wouldn't be able to breath. Plus, I hate being in the dark.
IM:It's a metaphor, darling. why are you so shallow?
TT: UWAAAA!!!

Friday afternoon. The biggest challenge is to stay focus at work. My mind wonders to many places. Happy places, mind you. And I can't wait to hug and smother my little princess with kisses!


*Link to the picture of the above limited object is here.

I love waking up to these...

NOTA PENDEK

Apa guna menang sorak tapi akhirnya kampung tergadai? Tolol sungguh!!!

OBJECTS OF DESIRE

Beautiful dresses. In reality, I don’t usually wear these types of dresses simply because (a) I do not have the physique that can do justice to the pieces and (b) I simply can’t afford these designers :)

But that does not stop me from admiring them.

The house of Herve Leger has seen a revival under the direction of Max Azaria. Its famous bandage dresses are sought after by many A-listers. I particularly like this piece. I love the texture of the material and the effect it creates.

A pretty piece by Narcisso Rodriguez. The ruffled tiers make the dress looks slightly playful. This dress has so much potential and can be worn differently for different occasions. I can think of many ways to accessorize it.

For some reasons, I keep imagining Audrey Hepburn in this dress by Oscar de la Renta. A simple, versatile piece. I love the details; puffed shoulders, double lapels and the pockets on both sides.

Pictures taken from here.

WEEKEND MOTHER

Tatija lives with her grandparents, my parents, some 2 hundred kilometres away from KL. We drive up to my parents’ every Friday after work. Sometimes, when BEM has work to do or if he needs to see his parents instead, I’ll drive solo.

So, I am a weekend mother. And my heart breaks into million pieces every Sunday evening before I start my long journey back to the city.

It’s a tough decision on our part. The other options are either to take a live-in maid or send her to a daycare centre. BEM and I have this issue with the former. We’ve experienced enough problems with various maids. It’s going to be like having a second baby. Also, I don’t trust maids to take care of my daughter. The latter is our preferred solution. However, the problem lies with finding the right daycare centre. I want to place Tatija in a professionally managed centre. I want to have the comfort of knowing that she is in the hands of those who are trained to look after babies and toddlers. But these places are hard to come by. I’ve visited a few and been disappointed with all. The good ones are either full or they only take toddlers of 18 months and above. So, I'm stuck.

In the end, I am left with no choice but to send my little one to her grandparents. They are more than happy to have her around. Being the first grandchild and long awaited one, my parents dote on her.

I find myself frequently wishing I can quit my job for a few years and become a stay-at-home-mom. But, I can’t afford to do so. There are responsibilities and obligations. Well, such is life. We can’t have everything, can we? At least I know Tatija is well taken care of and it is only a temporary measure until we find a suitable place for her. I pray we’ll find the place. Soon.

Mama misses you, Tatija!

I used to write incessantly. But it was in a different blog. I know… I’m a blog-whore like that. I changed blog home because I felt the need for a fresh start. The old home no longer gave me the kick that I needed. I’m not like some of my friends who seem to be able to pen their thoughts without much effort. I need to feel inspired and motivated. So, I shifted blog home. Thing is, I am still not writing as much I would like to. Inspirations are aplenty. The only thing that’s lacking is TIME. I seem to have other more important things to do or attend to almost every time there’s a slot for possible scribbling. And it does not get better A.T. (after Tatija).

BEM said he used to look forward to my ramblings. I always had a lot to write. He went further to say that perhaps my lack of interest in writing of late is due to the fact that I am no longer inspired like I used to or perhaps I am not as happy as before.

Aiyo! Darling husband… I am very happy. Life is so good I have to keep pinching myself all the time. True, there are bumpy moments here and there, but the SUV we’re riding in is so strong and solid we’re able to drive pass most of the obstacles so far and Insyaallah for the rest of our ride.

Our life is evolving and so does our love. We may not have much time to ourselves like before, but it does not mean we care less for each other. If anything, I love you more than I did before. I love my little family more than life itself. You and Tatija mean the world to me! I am inspired just by thinking about the two of you. I have so much love it makes me giddy. And I still think you’re the HOTTEST man around!

However, I know I have been guilty of neglecting you at some point. Please forgive me.

I was trying to adjust to this new phase of life. It was overwhelming and at times, I felt helpless. I didn’t know how to care for both of you. And I was worried and sad for a while; I felt like it’s as though you did not love or care for Tatija as much. You used to keep telling me how you took care of your children almost single handedly in your previous life. You’d change their nappies, woke up for their night feeds, bathed them, played with them and all. But I did not see much of these with Tatija. You said I was such a control freak that you took a step backward and let me do almost everything. But trust me, sometimes I wished you’d ask me if you can change her nappy. I wished her cries would’ve woken you up instead of me having to do so in the middle of the night. I wished you’d have stayed up with me or offered to feed her instead of snoozing right after you made and handed her milk. I wished you’d wake up earlier so you can play with her first thing in the morning.

I used to be clouded with sadness when I saw you, looking at Tatija, like a stranger from a distance. My heart cried a little when her playful screams and shouts did nothing to wake you up in the morning.

But now, I’ve come to a realization; you do love Tatija. Maybe differently and not as vigorously as you love your other children, but you do love her. That much I know. I’m also slowly learning to not be too demanding when it comes to things that concern Tatija… especially love. After all, we certainly cannot demand how we want to be loved.

Things are definitely better. Alhamdulillah. I guess it was my hormones gone haywire getting into action. Trust me. Post partum depression is no joke.

I love Michelle O's ensemble in this picture! It's simple but oh-so-chic! Love the pants, love the top and the earrings complete the whole look.

Her top is from here.

Picture taken from here.

I am Back!

I have not visited this space for so long! Been pretty busy with a lot of things. And of course, I am now the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl!

She gives a whole new meaning to my life. I am in love. Unconditionally. I am in awe. Constantly.

Mama loves you, Tatija!

About 2 hours after delivery